Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Miracles in Prayers


 
Growing up poor, I did not believe in miracles; I depended on miracles!

When my family and I were literally homeless, we prayed that somebody will take us. We did not have money to pay for even a month’s rent and there was no place to go. But on that same day, my mom, sister and I were able to home ourselves. Although we were able to find lodgings separately, we still did despite the seeming impossibility.

I was severely nearsighted growing up but my mother was only able to acquire prescription eyeglasses for me once in my entire life and that was in second grade. After that pair got lost, I was on my own in my blurry world. When commuting from my house to my school, I prayed that I might ride the correct jeep. I couldn’t read the signboard and taking the time to ask will deprive me of the opportunity to get a ride because mornings were rush hours and people literally kill each other just to be able to get inside a jeep. Miraculously, my intelligent guesses were always correct. I also prayed when crossing the streets that I might not die in the process. Obviously the prayers worked because I am still alive today.

When I took the college entrance exam for the University of the Philippines in Diliman, I was unfortunate to have contracted the flu on the very same day. I had a very high fever, I was dizzy and I felt like vomiting. The test room was unluckily air conditioned which made my feverish chills even worse. No one was allowed to leave the room, not even to vomit, during the entire test duration. I tried my best to toughen up and finish the entrance exams. At that time, this was the ONLY college entrance exams which my mom was able to pay so this was my ONLY hope. But after an hour of trying, I couldn’t hold off anymore the uncontrollable shaking from the chills and the need to black out and faint. Since the exam was multiple choices and you just had to shade the correct answer, I just decided to randomly shade the answer sheet until the very end just to get the test over.  I submitted my exam paper to the proctor and hurriedly went out to finally give in to the forces of the flu. I prayed that I might pass although it seemed highly impossible since more than 50 percent of my answers were just random guesses. YET miracles of miracles, I passed!

During the second semester of my first year in college, my mother was not able to come up with the tuition fee. It was already the first week of classes and I was still not officially enrolled. I prayed that we would be able to come up with the money. We didn’t, but a good friend of mine came up with the 7000 pesos as the initial payment just to get me enrolled. I was able to get my first year college second semester education even if the odds were against my favour. But this was not in fact my first tuition fee miracle. From my whole grade school years to my entire high school years, my mother enrolled me with just a promissory note promising to pay the unpaid debts from my previous academic years. Every year it was the same answered prayer for a seemingly hopeless situation.

By the time I met my then husband, my life story has been a series of answered prayers and impossible miracles. I really couldn’t have survived life without them. In fact, meeting my then-boyfriend-now-husband was also a result of an answered prayer. Julius was the exact replica on my husband prayer wish list. In every sense of the word, he was God sent.

As a couple, we had our fair share of needing miracles during our first year of relationship. Julius’ place of employment was on the decline and they weren’t receiving their salaries for months. Even during deployment to job sites, they had to use their own resources. There was even a time when he was stuck somewhere because his company was not able to provide him with an airfare to go back home. Even without a tangible source of employment opportunities, we prayed that Julius can find another place of work. We prayed a novena to Blessed Jose Maria Escriva for months. We stubbornly insisted on our demands and we were not taking no for an answer from God. And just like that, Julius found a job in Dubai. Although we were praying for a job opportunity from the U.S. of A, God found it more appropriate to send us to the land of the Arabs.

From then on, our life was free from desperately praying for miracles. If we were sick, we had our company issued comprehensive insurance which not only provided doctor consultation and laboratory test but also dispensed medicines at a very minimal participation cost. We were never in dire need of food, shelter or clothing at any point in time because we had good stable jobs. If there was any financial emergency, all we needed to do was adjust the budget for a few months and then get back on track again. We also saved for an emergency fund so that we will never be caught with our pants down. We were self-sufficient and had no need for any last minute miracles to save our ass. There was always a logical and doable solution from our part to any problem.

But the risk of getting results from the realm of the possible is that soon, you lose touch with the possibilities of the impossible. I, whose life was painted with the colours of miracles, have subconsciously stopped believing in them. I solely relied on the limitations of my possibilities rather than rely on the infinite impossibilities of the universe. It kept me grounded, which is actually a good thing, but it also clipped my wings which I needed to fly. As the years went by, my roots grew deeper and deeper until I completely forgot that I once knew how to soar.

But God, with his amazing wisdom, decided to give me back my wings. After more than 10 years of being grounded, my husband lost his job. To add spice to the mayhem, I found out I was pregnant after a month and the rents and other cost of living all suddenly decided to shoot up at the same time. We had also lost our company sponsored health insurance. For the first time in our whole years living abroad, getting suddenly sick was a terrifying and expensive prospect. Since I was also pregnant, prenatal check-ups and giving birth were now my financial burden.

As great timing would have it, my 9 year old son also had a minor accident. He fell down while at school and his fingernail lifted off from the fingernail bed. Although we were insurance free, we were fortunate that the accident happened in school because then we would be entitled to free emergency care in one of the government hospitals. Although totally grateful for the free medical assistance, we felt so powerless because we had to rely on the charity of others. Beggars can’t be choosers and in a free facility, you wait until somebody attends to you.

After more than 10 years of being in control, I was no longer at the helm of my life. There was no logical, practical, doable solution on my end. We were caught with our pants down and suddenly, I was in need of miracles. It was hard to pray and believe that God will answer my prayers. I was calculating the number of people who lost their jobs and the current job market.It seemed impossible to be hired at the current status quo.

I was in a state of bottomless panic. If my husband will not be able to find a job, we will all be forced to go back home to our motherland since visa’s can only be obtained via the sponsorship of an employer. As hard as it is to look for a job abroad, it is a million times much harder to look for a job in the place where we were born. The job market there is ruthless and has little or no compassion for the aging job hunter. I still have a 9 year old son to support and another one on the way. Where will get money for food, for shelter, for education and for other basic needs? If it was just me and my husband, we can just wing it since we are both used to poverty. But we have two lives that depended on us. We cannot just wing it.

It was a terrible feeling of helplessness. At a certain point in time, I deluded myself into thinking that I was in sole control of my life. Miracles don’t make things happen; I make things happen.  Yet at the middle of it, you realize that life is full of unpredictables. It won’t always be you who will make things happen. So I abandoned all pretenses of self-sufficiency and decided to pray for a miracle. I cut off my roots, grew my wings and decided to fly.

Months have already passed since the day my husband lost his job and our life of uncertainty began. At this point, I’m still learning to spread my wings. Although he has already found a job, which was a big hurrah, our life was no longer in the comfort zone and thus need constant reliance on the supernatural and the impossible. In some ways I believe that my family needs this mayhem of uncertainty more than stability. Although our lives are no longer comfortable and secure, we were given in exchange the capacity and openness to believe in the impossible and infinite.

Because sometimes, the greatest gifts in life are struggles and problems. Without them, there is no room for miracles.

 
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32 comments:

  1. And that's why we face them high and might-to bring the best in us. The same we keep
    prayers because it's the only hope within our reach. And miracles keep us closer to the impossible. Keep smiling and remember... Life is always beautiful 😘

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  2. Aw, you're Filipino? My husband is Filipino. His mom grew up in the Philippines, so to us she is Lola. Your story of working hard and trusting Hod is amazing. He will not disappoint those whose hope is in Him!

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  3. I love your story. Inspiration to always look positively through all situations because it is so worth it in the end. Don't let anything get you down!

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    1. thanks michelle. sometimes being positive is the best tool and only tool there is

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  4. Your story is so motivating and inspirational! Thank you for your positive outlook on life <3

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  5. Thank you for sharing. I have also experienced many miracles in my life and families life. It is inspiring that you are trusting this time of the unknown to God. Prayers of blessings over you and your family. ❤

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  6. Wow this is such a beautiful and inspiring post. I agree completely that our struggles and failures help us to not only be better human beings, but also grow our trust and faith.


    http://prettyfitfoodie.com/2017/02/15/pechanga-resort-weekend-getaway/

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  7. Wow hun that is so inspiring. You went through so many hardships but incredibly you managed to overcome every obstacle, well done xx

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  8. Wow what a blessing. Through your chaotic life you are still moving mountains.

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  9. What an inspiring testimony. I love that you've come back to believing in and counting on miracles. I myself am still waiting for mine, and I have days when I don't believe in them anymore either. But I'm trying.

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    1. yeah sometimes it is hard to believe in miracles. I'm also in the process of trying =)

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  10. Inspiring post! I enjoyed reading this post. It's very well written. I believe in miracle in prayers and one should never lose focus on the almighty one.

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  11. It's really amazing how God helps us get through life if we leave it up to him. It wouldn't be just because of him though, it's also from your determination to have a better life. I hope everything goes well.

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    1. I agree. prayer with works. God does favour the one who is determined and works with him for miracles

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  12. I am touched by your story. It's really inspiring how you've gone through so many challenges and you haven't lost your will to keep moving on. I'm sure life will soon get better. Always stay humble!

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  13. I feel like prayers are the only ways to bring miracles. To whatever higher power that you have, if you have something to believe in you have hope. Hope produces miracles.

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  14. This was the most powerful testimony I've ever heard, I'm glad you shared here. It strengthened my faith in God's miracles, though I cannot say I understand why sometimes he does a miracle and sometimes not. However, there is a promise in bible that He will provide his children with they need to survive: "Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?"

    Keep having faith and good things will come. God will bless your family soon.

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  15. I definitely believe in the power of prayer. Stay strong in the Lord

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  16. I think this goes to show that if we apply ourselves and 'just keep swimming' we can help ourselves achieve our goals. If praying helps focus than that's a good thing! :)

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  17. "Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness."
    Katja xxx
    www.katnapped.com

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  18. This was very touching for me! Our struggles make us stronger and makes us appreciate that much more when blessings do come.

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  19. We are strong within and if the prayers help us find more strength to fight, to keep at our goals then that is the focus we should take. Thank you for sharing this personal post.

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  20. Prayers work and you are a testament to this. Keep praying about your current situation and wait on His answer.

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